Should Christians Attend the Legal Union of LGBTQ+ Friends and Family?

Introduction

In recent years, I have cultivated the strong conviction that some popular (and some well-meaning) theologians, pastors, and teachers have confused certain aspects regarding how to apply Christian compassion and love when dealing with unbelievers and, subsequently, the application with regard to how Christians are permitted to build bridges with the world.

This, at times, has been at the expense of loyalty to Christ and fidelity to the Scriptures.

I am sure some will bristle at such a statement and will entertain thoughts such as “Who are you? How do you have a right to say that trained Bible teachers have this wrong? What’s your education?” Here is my appeal to you: in the interest in diving into the Scriptures together, put a hold on those thoughts and see if the picture I attempt to paint from Scripture brings an angle to this issue you may not have thought of.

I would also like to say up front, that many of these aforementioned leaders know WAY more than I do when it comes to the Scriptures in general. I readily admit that. However, I do think it is also important for them to exercise humility in not assuming that they are indeed well-versed in every important area because of their credentials or experience.

We need to be aware of, and migrate away from, a subtle ‘appeal to authority’ fallacy. Rather, we need to follow which teaching actually makes the most sense with keeping the integrity of God’s intentions for His church.

With all of that said, I invite any theologian, pastor, or teacher to be critical of this case using Scripture to do so. If you bring an equally compelling case from Scripture – I will strive to follow the evidence wherever it leads. That should be our hearts as Christians “What does God really say and think about this issue, and how should we then proceed?”

Also, please know that I care for all people who do not yet see the glorious reality of Christ and who they were really made and intended to be in Him. I want to always ensure I am doing outreach God’s way to all individuals, and this includes people in the LGBTQ+ community. While I disagree with their lifestyle, I am for them as people in the sense that I want them to choose to repent and turn towards Christ, so they are not sent eternally away from God at judgement day. The Bible is very clear that God’s justice against sin is coming to everyone who has chosen to reject Christ. I don’t want anyone to have to face God as the eternal Judge without being found in Him.

The Current Controversy

For those who are unaware, there is a popular Pastor named Alistair Begg, who has recently (and publicly) endorsed an ever-growing popular opinion in the church: that it is ok to attend the celebration of a legal union between two individuals who are LGBTQ+ as long as the individuals know where you stand on the issue (i.e. that you believe the Bible to categorize it as sin). These, in many cases, well-intentioned believers feel as if this is one of the necessary ways that we can show an increasingly anti-Christian culture the light of Christ. They believe this is the compassionate Christian thing to do.

I will start with this thesis statement up-front so that it gives you a quick roadmap to where I am headed. I fully intend to back this with proof texts from Scripture:

As Christians, we are never permitted to go to any event/place, as a passive or active participant, where the chief goal of such an event/place is to celebrate sin.

There are a couple of different contextual scenarios (i.e. you are not there to participate in celebrating the sin) that I can think of where you could physically be present:

1. While attending, you are not viewed as an active participant (from either the couple or anyone in the crowd), and you are going only to make that explicitly clear in order to espouse God’s truth and call to repentance. (ex: Elijah on Mt. Carmel).
   
2. You are an emergency service provider who is called to such a place to save a life (i.e. Paramedic, Fire Fighter, or a Police Officer).

Some individuals on the opposite side of this issue would go as far to suggest that such a statement is ‘Pharisaical’ and isn’t aligned well with Jesus’ approach to sinners which is captured in His statement in Luke 5:31:

“It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick.”

I believe this is fallacious thinking, and I will attempt to show why. To do that, I believe it will be good to work “backwards” from the Apostles to Christ. What I mean is this: let’s start looking at these issues through the lens of explicit instruction from the Apostles Peter and Paul first. I think seeing how the Apostles taught us how we are to abstain from meeting with sinners in certain places/venues (more on this as we go) will go a long way in helping us observe Jesus’ ministry to unbelievers in a more calibrated and balanced manner. Jesus did instruct the Apostles to teach us “…to observe all things that I (Jesus) have commanded you”; thus, we know they wouldn’t teach us contrary to what they understood Christ to teach them.

Apostolic Instruction on Attending/Participating in Sinful Celebrations or Events

For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

1 Peter 4:3-5

Notice a couple things about the Gentiles unbelievers based on Christians refraining from participating in their sinful actions/celebrations…

1. They were surprised that we would tell them that we are not able to participate in these events (such as drinking parties) due to our belief in Christ’s teachings (vs 4)
   
2. They malign us for our position (i.e. show hatred towards by slandering) (vs 5)

As a brief aside, doesn’t this sound familiar? Merely by our refusal to participate in worldly activities and celebrations the world will malign us by how we live our lives. We are never to look at the world’s reaction and allow that to dictate our fidelity to Christ and His Word.

Implicit in Peter’s statement is him applauding the church for their abstinence from such things/events. Not chastising them for being unwilling to go to these places to build bridges with the world.

The question then becomes, “Well, what if I am not agreeing and/or committing sexual immorality myself at the LGBTQ+ event? I have already made it clear I don’t agree with their stance. In light of that, am I not allowed to show them I care for them by attending?”.

Paul helps to further clarify what the Spirit says to the churches on this topic:

“Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread. Consider the people of Israel: are not those who eat the sacrifices participants in the altar? What do I imply then? That food offered to idols is anything, or that an idol is anything? No, I imply that what pagans sacrifice they offer to demons and not to God. I do not want you to be participants with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons. Shall we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than he?”

1 Corinthians 10:14-22

In verse 14, Paul assumes that what he is about to say will be understood by “sensible people”. In other words, he expects the logical connections that follow to be comprehended by them.

I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say.

Paul is equating believers eating the Lord’s supper as being participants of that ceremony, just as ancient Israelites eating of the sacrifice were considered a partaker of that ceremonial event. He then applies this same logic to attendance of a pagan celebratory worship service where actual sacrifice to an idol is taking place (i.e. a place where sin is celebrated).

Likewise, just as knowingly going to a pagan ceremony (thus becoming a default participant) was prohibited by Paul, the spirit and intent of this command would extend to the “modern pagan temple” by willful attendance to an LGBTQ+ legal union celebration, and according to Paul, that person would now have a share in “the sacrifices” (i.e. eating the cake, congratulating the individuals on their union, going to the reception, buying a gift etc.). There is no moral difference as all celebration of iniquity is ultimately a form of idolatry.

Another important observation is this:

Paul is speaking to the location and intent of the event – not our intentions as individuals.

I mention this because I believe some people think, “Well, whether it’s right or wrong, God knows my heart as to why I am going.” I submit to you that it’s possible many of the believers in Corinth could have also just wanted to go because they only wanted to show their pagan friends or family that they still loved them. However, Paul didn’t give this as a caveat or make this a matter of conscience; rather, he tells them their mere presence in a pagan temple while the celebration to the false god was going on would stir God to jealousy. His warning is pretty stark for attendance to something that is against God’s natural law: “You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons. Shall we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than he?”.

Lastly, to point out the obvious: Paul is addressing believers here. In other words, I don’t think all of these particular Corinthian believers are attending these idol feasts with the intent to honor the false god in question rather than Christ. Paul corrects them by bluntly saying that, as Christians, we are not given this as an option of conscience. The attendance of the legal, celebratory union of an LGBTQ+ couple is similarly prohibited because you are celebrating idolatry by attending and feasting with them during the actual sinful event. It has both elements of tacit approval (i.e. your mere presence) and explicit approval (i.e. buying gifts, congratulating, etc.), regardless of what your “internal conviction” against it is.

The Greatest Commandment

When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus responded like this:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:36–40

Additionally, James gives us practical ways to fulfill these commandments with the following:

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress [love your neighbor as yourself] and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. [love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength]”

James 1:27

Notice that James mentions what the greatest commandment looks like: to keep ourselves from being stained by the world. He then gives an example of loving our neighbors by “being there for orphans and widows in their distress.”

The first and greatest commandment is in the first position for a reason. It is what every decision revolves around in the Christian’s life. When it APPEARS that upholding something in the second command would cause me to betray the first, then I have clearly discerned incorrectly, and I am not really operating in the true Spirit and love of Christ. Rather, I am now in opposition to that. I must filter through the first and greatest commandment in order to know how to properly implement the second.

In some current Christian culture, I see these commands practically being flipped. Rather than really seeking to uphold the first and greatest commandment we seem to elevate, at times, a misapplication of the second commandment.

In such a scenario, this discussion seems to inevitably go to an argument from conscience rather than a clear prohibition in Scripture. As an aside, many people use the argument from conscience incorrectly as Scripture represents it. That will be for another article; however, suffice it to say for now, issues of conscience are always amoral in nature. In other words, they aren’t intrinsically immoral or moral – they are truly neutral and there is freedom in Christ to participate in morally neutral activities (provided our liberty doesn’t cause someone to stumble).

Many people with good intentions start with their own interpretation of what it looks like to love their neighbor and, unfortunately, it has caused them to fail at loving God by HOW they chose to love their neighbor. We really need to go to the Scripture to see the objective teaching on this, so we don’t imperil ourselves or others with misguided advice. Jesus did not take lightly the woman Jezebel in Revelation when she enticed God’s people to commit sexual immorality and to eat meat sacrificed to idols.

But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.

Revelation 2:20

Question for reflection: pastors, are you even tolerating someone’s encouraging others in your congregation to attend an event where the chief goal of the event is to celebrate sin? My loving plea to you is this: you need to be very careful how you tread here. The Lord is patient with our ignorance, but once you clearly see Scripture’s stance on this, you must make public correction so no more individuals are led astray by this pervasive teaching.

Now, with the Apostle’s authoritative teaching on this subject laid as a framework and realizing that the Holy Spirit through Jesus’ own life would not contradict that of their instruction to the church, let’s now analyze Jesus’ interaction with unbelievers through the lens of Peter and Paul’s instructions. We will see if His life is consistent with what His Spirit instructed them to teach the church on these matters.

Jesus – “A Glutton and a Drunkard, a Friend of Tax Collectors and Sinners”

“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds.”

Matthew 11:19

According to Jesus in the above text, the people (ex: Pharisees) believed Jesus’ fellowship with unbelievers even in, what I will refer to as, morally neutral places and events, made Him a ‘glutton and a drunkard’ with them. They clearly viewed this as sinful. We see circumstantial evidence of how the Pharisees thought about this when Jesus was in Simon’s house.

“One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

Luke 7:36-50

What do we observe from Simon the Pharisees thought pattern above? The Pharisees fell into the trap of assuming a form of guilt by association. A Pharisee wouldn’t even be caught with a “sinner” even in “morally neutral places and events“; whereas Jesus was more than happy to go into their house, break bread, talk to them in the streets, at a well, etc. Do you see this?

You will never find Jesus at any event with sinners where the chief goal of the event is to celebrate that which God hates.

We see in the attitude of Simon the Pharisee that he thought it was detestable for Jesus to allow a prostitute to even touch His feet in humble repentance! This is, in part, what makes someone a Pharisee. Once a person was marked for the sin they were known to frequently commit, the Pharisees then deemed them not associable even in “morally neutral places and events.“

To hit this point home in a more profound way, do you believe Jesus would have hung out and spoken to a prostitute while she was doing work in the bedroom actively defiling herself? Of course not! That is a place where sin is being celebrated! Do you believe Jesus would go to the wedding of someone who was getting ready to marry an animal and bring a gift to show this person they still love them and aren’t judging them? Of course not! That is a place where sin is being celebrated. What about someone wanting Jesus to take them to their hypothetical equivalent of an abortion clinic? Would it be loving for Jesus to drive them there and wait for them until they are finished? Of course not! Do you see the pattern now? In fact, if you answered ‘no’ to any of the above scenarios but are fine with it in the case of an LGBTQ+ legal union, this is a good test to reveal the desensitization you have to this particular sin in our culture, and you are not being morally consistent.

Now, would Jesus be willing to have fellowship with them in their curiosity of who He is and what He is teaching in morally neutral places? Of course! At risk of stating the obvious, remember this:

Jesus wasn’t really a glutton and a drunkard, he was around people who were known to be both and was then FALSLY ACCUSED of being that by the Pharisees.

This is what being Pharisaical is in such a circumstance. It is not being ‘Pharisaical’ and unloving to honor God before we ever “honor” our neighbors in an unbiblical way.

So, the next time someone wants to try to say you are being a Pharisee for taking the position against attendance to an immoral celebration – don’t feel defeated. You now know this is an unfortunate oversimplified analysis of what being a “Pharisee” is, and you can now help them to see the difference.

Conclusion

For every specific prohibition in Scripture, there is a consistent moral principal present at its foundation.

Apostolic instruction isn’t arbitrary. Circling back to how the article began, we have sufficient Scripture to know that, in the case of the question of where Christians are allowed to go to build bridges with the world:

We are not permitted to attend any event or place where the chief goal of such an event/place is to celebrate sin. However, we are of course allowed to meet with unbelievers on morally neutral territory as Jesus did during His ministry.

A celebration of the legal union of two people that are LGBTQ+ is NOT a morally neutral event. It meets the spirit and intent of Paul’s prohibition to the Corinthian believers to not attend the pagan temple as a participant.

Thus, I am calling on all Brothers and Sisters (especially those in leadership positions) to cease telling fellow Christians that this issue of attending a celebration of sin is a matter of conscience. The Apostles teaching and observation of Jesus’ life and ministry gives us no room for that. Are we trying to stir God to jealousy?

Do we want to risk circumventing the authority that Jesus gave the Apostles and replace it with what we feel is right in our own eyes? Is that something you are willing to stand before God and defend? Please consider that we do this at the risk of being reprimanded by the One we say we are committed to follow – our Lord Jesus.

Attending such events is actually not compassionate or loving. It shows a misunderstanding of what Christ is really calling the world to. Unbelievers need to see how serious God is about their decisions, and the best way to love them in such a scenario is to explain that the reason you are not able to attend is because it would cause you to encourage them on a path that you really believe will end in eternal judgement for them. Will this make them upset? Possibly. However, was it necessary to put a “stone in their shoe” for years to come? Absolutely. Your attendance is not going to suddenly open a door for you one day to convince them they need to repent and break from such a lifestyle – I argue it will do the opposite.

Please let me know if you have any questions or comments. I will try to respond as I have time.

Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

Ephesians 6:24

CJ Goff